Psychologists now admit what we curmudgeons have known for a long time: complaining is good for you.

Complaining makes you feel better or, as the shrinks say, kvetching is “beneficial for your emotional state.”

I didn’t know I had an emotional state, but I’m glad to know that every time I moan and groan about something, I’m getting healthier. Picture me, the Wonder Woman of emotional health, every complaint a crack of my magic whip.

Also, researchers at Rice University recently found that grumpy workers are the most creative problem solvers. Contented workers won’t question the status quo as much as the workers who are disgruntled. Happy workers won’t search out problems to solve. Grumpy workers will. And grumpy workers will dig down into the details to find a solution.

Imagine that! I’m even a better worker because I complain. I’m the Indiana Jones of the workplace, with battered hat and grumpy face, complaining as I search for the corporate Holy Grail: how to do more with less.

Just when I was getting ready to celebrate – it’s not every day that science declares that my favorite personal flaw is a good thing – I noticed the fine print. Not all complaining is healthy, psychologists say. I knew it was too good to be true.

They caution that complaining should be specific; general complaints are no good. “I hate my life,” gets you nowhere in the healthy complaint department. Instead, we need to detail what we hate, like: “I hate walking the dog at 5 a.m. I hate making breakfast for kids who don’t eat it. I hate driving on Route 1 in morning traffic. I hate working in a cubicle.” I feel better already.

Also, to be healthy, we need to let the people we’re complaining to know that we’re simply complaining. Psychologists recommend beginning every complaint by saying, “Don’t mind me, I’m just venting.” This is sort of like saying, “Don’t mind me, I’m just human,” but as long as I get to vent, I don’t mind announcing it.

Psychologists also warn that we should be careful who we complain to, or is that to whom we complain? Anyway, we shouldn’t complain to just anyone, only to those who are interested in hearing our moans and groans.

They’ve got to be kidding! No one wants to hear complaints, at least not mine. Anyway, one of the joys of complaining is knowing that I’m annoying the heck out of my near and dear.

Another key to healthy complaining is to use moderation, to choose carefully what we want to complain about, so we don’t annoy people. Again, the shrinks have missed the point. There’s no joy in moderation or mild complaining. In fact, all curmudgeons know that their greatest strength is exaggeration. Making mountains out of molehills is our business, nay, our calling.

If I’m moderate in my complaints, then people just think, “My, isn’t Claudia grumpy today.” How insulting! Anyone can be a grump. Even Pinochet, Chile’s infamous general and president, claimed, “I’m not a dictator. I just have a grumpy face.”

Many people have noted the general human tendency to be grumpy. W.S. Gilbert (of Gilbert and Sullivan fame) wrote, “Oh, wouldn’t the world seem dull and flat with nothing whatever to grumble at?” Comedic writer Jane Wagner said, “I personally believe we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.” And it’s true, at least in my house, that, as James Thurber wrote, “Nowadays most men lead lives of noisy desperation.”

But it’s exaggeration that turns complaining into an art form, that separates the true curmudgeons from the lowly grumps. If I have to be moderate in my complaints and only complain to those who are interested – in effect, if I have to be a graceful grump in order for complaining to be healthy, I say, “no thank you!”

And who wants to be emotionally healthy anyway? If, every time I complain, I thought that my complaining was good for my health or was helping my employers, pretty soon I’d stop complaining. Not likely, you say? True. Stay tuned for the further adventures of Claudia the Relentless Curmudgeon (alias Wonder Woman the Warrior of Complaining).

Claudia Weldon is a columnist for Community News Service. She resides in Ewing. Reach her via e-mail at cweldon@communitynewsnj.com.